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[nogoldfish]

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[nogoldfish]

[ Why?

Josh is one of the few people Mycroft really doesn't mind talking to, so he doesn't immediately wonder what demon he has angered this time when he sees who's calling. As much as he doesn't really want to talk to anyone nowadays ... That's a whole other matter.

But when all he hears is some muffled conversation in the background, he realises that Josh clearly didn't actually mean to call him. ]

Take your phone out from under your fucking arse, Lyman.

[ He won't give Josh more than a few seconds to answer, though. Not wasting his time on this. ]

[hardballsy]

[Josh's butt is multi-talented; not only does it dial phones! It puts them on speaker, too.

The conversation comes to an abrupt halt, Josh mid-word as he hears bad language coming from his pants. Quickly, the sound of fumbling follows, then:]

Hello?

[nogoldfish]

Hello.

[ Sickly sweet. ]

You rang. Unintentionally, I presume.

[hardballsy]

...yes.

[Hang on, hang on. Give him a second.]





Mycroft?

[nogoldfish]

[ ... He should have just ignored it, shouldn't he? ]

Yes. And you keep your bloody mouth shut about it.

[hardballsy]

[Well, yeah.]

You havin' a bad day, buddy?

[nogoldfish]

My day is fine. The only annoyance is this ailment.

[hardballsy]

Which is...?

[It doesn't even occur to him that Mycroft's ailment is his potty mouth. Josh is thinking he's been this way the whole time and has just been hiding it.]

[nogoldfish]

I do not particularly make a habit of swearing.

[hardballsy]

Really?

[Feigned shock.]

You seem like the type to enjoy it.

[nogoldfish]

How?

[ DISGUSTED ]

[hardballsy]

In my experience, it's always the quiet, dignified ones who have the most dark secrets.

[nogoldfish]

Is a penchant for cursing a dark secret?

[hardballsy]

For you? Sounds like it.

[nogoldfish]

[ SIIIIGH ]

Well, seeing as there's no fucking point continuing this discussion ...

[hardballsy]

[That's the point.

That, right there, is the point, and Josh cracks up.]

[nogoldfish]

[ TAKES A DEEP BREATH ]

Good day, mister Lyman.

[hardballsy]

Good day, mister Fuck—

[Oops?]

Excuse me. Mister Holmes.

[nogoldfish]

Mister Lyman.

[ Do not test him, he will fuck you up. ]

[hardballsy]

Please. You can call me Josh if I can call you Mister Fuck.

[TESTING 1, 2, 3.]

[nogoldfish]

Why the-- hell would I agree to that?

[ Not going to say fuck, not going to say fuck. ]

[hardballsy]

Because your other dark secret is that you've got a bone-deep desire to have a little fun once in a while.

But I won't tell. Promise.

[nogoldfish]

My idea of fun does not include ... that.

[hardballsy]

Then what does it include?

[nogoldfish]

[ A pause. ]

Why do you want to know?

[ Are you ... interested???? ]